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Pastor Sam's Blog Page

Internet Pastors: Stop Playing Church

Loonies in Clerical Garb At It Again!

Greetings all, it's been awhile since my last blog post. We've been busy with speaking engagements, pastoral care, too many funerals for too many friends, and general ministry stuff, along with producing more radio programs and 2 more books for release in the coming weeks.  But I promise to post more often here, as so many asked where we've been.

Well, if you read my new blog, you'll see how my week has been going.  We've been  battling and unmasking the fakes, phonies and frauds who buy vestments on ebay and ordain themselves, get a following and espouse their own 'New Revelations' from The Lord. One 'Bishop' in particular thought he would challenge me when I called him out for the apostate fake that he was. Little did he know what he was about to unleash on himself...so with that in mind, here's my latest...

...Post for the day:

Some Pastors Are Just Plain Looney...For Real; From a Real Pastor's Perspective.

There. I said it. Some folks who wear a collar are outright loons. But I am not the first to notice that.

Ted Turner once said that he thought organized religion was a magnet for nut cases.
I tend to agree.

Jesus was so upset with what the Pharisees allowed in the Temple that he fashioned a whip from leather, overturned the tables and screamed that the 'clergy' turned his house into a den of thieves. 

So much for the idea of a pacifist Jesus.

And don't even get me started on the 'reverend' dude who is selling Miracle Spring Water on TV nowadays. That's a post for another day.

So why do we continue to believe what someone says just because they have a title and a collar? Why must we accept that a clerical garb wearing miscreant is speaking the truth?

Will I speak out when someone who is charged with leading a flock is absolutely in error? Hint...I get in trouble and get hate mail and death threats every day even from clergy...oh well...

Will I ever back down to other 'clergy' when they are absolutely wrong and yet they insist they are right? Will I allow a supposed Bishop who insults the US and its Constitution and her people (that's all of you, my friends) a free pass? When that same Bishop (from overseas) then hurls profanity at me, and at America, and enlists his overseas Marxist friends to pile on all the while misquoting, misapplying and taking Scripture out of context, shall I allow him to keep it up? Will I back down?

Not a chance.

When civil discourse breaks down, am I as capable of unleashing an equal if not overwhelming barrage of insults, 4 letter words and profanity in response to his foul mouth that will make even hardened inmates blush? (I grew up in Trenton, so what do you think?) It shocks the 'internet preachers when they get a dose of their own language right back at them. They don't expect the turnabout. I suppose it's a weakness, but sometimes it needs to be said in their own language. 

And yes, to put rumor to rest I did tell another Bishop (he was a fake phony fraud) that instead of giving his sermon next week, he should just pull down his pants and play with himself...this way the congregation would know he was nuts instead of listening to his sermon and having to wonder if... (I never knew a human's eyes could bug out THAT big like his did when he heard my response). 

When that same Bishop then cries to his mommy (his office secretary, another phony buffoon in clerical garb who turns out to be his wife 50 years younger than he...another story for another day) and that person sends a letter to my church hierarchy demanding that I be removed from office and institutionalized for daring to rebuff her 'Dear Leader', shall I passively sit by and shake in my boots?

 Not a chance on your life.

 Will I let loose my attorneys and my 'friends' in the area local to him, even overseas, and show these crybabies who call themselves clergy that I can reach out and 'touch them' wherever they are no matter what backwater cesspool third world hellhole they fleece their flock in? Those people in the area he claims to shepherd are in need of real ministry and pastoral care, not someone who takes their meager resources, and the few pennies they have for himself. 

When they realize what they are about to have unleashed on them, (through both Ecclesiastical/Canon Law and Civil Law, as well as through bad press) and they back down and pee in their ecclesiastical panties, should I back off and move on? 

I suppose I should forgive them, pity them, and pray for them, and let it drop after they crap themselves when they realize they are being exposed as frauds...but, but, but, I really really want to keep at it...(The Italian/Sicliano in me)... fortunately I have more important things to do, like real ministry, to real people with real problems and real needs. I should leave the internet keyboard ministers who have nothing but fancy web sites alone. They eventually crumble up and fade away. Sad little pope wannabes.

Funny thing is, I'll probably get all kinds of hate mail, threats and warnings of lawsuits from people who think I am slandering them...and I mentioned not a single name here. Feeling guilty, are we, you little narcissistic anti-Popes?

( I admit telling one he looked like a peacock in heat the way he pranced around in his fancy vestments...on Sunday mornings...in his living room..in front of his computer..alone...with the cat...)

So to the so-called Bishop on foreign soil, who is not an American, who believes he has the moral authority to deride the Constitution of The United States, and her people, who understands neither the Bible nor the concept of Freedom of Religion, Freedom of Speech and the Right to Keep and Bear Arms, along with all our other God Given Rights, including the Right to freely tell him to STFU, I remind him that in the US, we are citizens...in his country, he and his 3 followers are nothing more than subjects.

So, take this and stuff it in your 10 gallon mitre, you pompous ass. God Bless America!

But when taking down an idiot in clerical garb, I have so much fun while I'm at it. My other hobby is poking hornets nests in the springtime...

Are You Just 'Playing Church'?

Before he retired,  famous radio talk show host, Bob Grant used to say "It's sick out there...and getting sicker".  He was talking about society in general and the attitudes of the citizens. He was broadcasting from a radio station in NYC and a look out of  his window, as well as the callers who called in to his show were what prompted his trademark statement.
While I have a radio program, I don't broadcast from a window high above a city. In fact I broadcast from a windowless studio in a rural area. Nor do I take calls from listeners. I do have guests, but we simply sit around the mics and have a conversation, allowing the listeners to 'sit in' with us, from the convenience of their kitchen tables or in their cars. But I have to agree, it is sick out there, and getting sicker.  Not from what I can see from a window in a studio, but from a window known as the internet, I can get a glimpse of what is out there, beyond my secluded studio.
I am not addressing the public in general, I am addressing so-called clergy today. I am sure this post will generate a lot of hate mail, from those who feel offended by what I am going to say. But as always, my response will be 'so what?'  If the truth hurts you and cuts you like a knife, instead of blaming the messenger, take a look in the mirror.  What am I talking about? A quick perusal of religious web pages will bring you a dizzying array of names, titles, churches you never heard of, and fakes and frauds of all stripes. I never agree with Ted Turner on anything. But I think I have to agree with him on one thing: Religion is a magnet for nut cases. What do I mean?
The Bible should be the highest authority on any matter for any Christian, let alone for any clergy. Those who desire to lead the flock entrusted into ther care MUST teach and preach as well as handle accurately the Word of God. Period. But sadly, I find page after page, web site after web site of people who have so many titles and letters after their names that Campbells Alphabet Soup wouldn't be able to keep up. One site had a 'Bishop' with the following letters after his name: PhD,PsY, DD,ThD OCF, St.O M.Div, DSM, KP, EOST, and a few other letters. He then claimed he was Primate and Presiding Bishop Metropolitan of his church. At first glance it was impressive. Until you found that he was a Bishop of a church in which not even his wife attended, and he did not have a building or parishoners. But he did look the part...his mitre was perfect, his chasable, stole, pectoral cross, alb and even his 'Bishop's Ring" and crozier were perfect. He had an invitation for other 'clegy' to join him, and had quite an impressive set of 'rules and regulations', as well as 'orders' as to what was expected of his 'clergy'. He had 50 or so 'clergy members' listed on his page, but sadly, you will find the same names on many other 'church' web pages as well. Could we say 'credential collectors?' My guess is that if we stopped at his house on Sunday morning and knocked, we would find him answering the door in his underwear, unshaven and hung over instead of leading a flock.  But don't dare question his 'authority' he might get mad and smite you.
Or perhaps we can read of the 'seminary' that takes your money, says it is accredited and is one of the top institutions, with a who's who of clergy as staff and 'professors'. But again, a closer look will uncover that the 'chancellor' lives in Philadelphia, yet the school is registered in...perhaps Arizona, or better still, Chile or Bermuda.
Oh, and let us not forget the 'wedding ministries' that proliferate. A marriage between 2 people is a sacred vow, a covenant before God. But for a fee, these pastors will marry anyone, even if they never met them before, and will allow the couple to modify the ceremony to suit their more 'spiritualistic, non-judgemental, non-Christian' side.
I can go on and on and on. I can especially expound on the 'denomination jumpers' whose names can be found on numerous different denominational church sites. But I digress. It is both madening and saddening that these people simply play church and may look the part, even fooling others, and fooling themselves, but NEVER fooling God. The apostles taught the truth, and fought for its purity. Yet every single one of these churches and misfit pastors preach different than the next guy, perhaps believing they are (wrongly so) Divinely inspired. Error is error. Pure and simple. I am a Lutheran, but I do not believe that Martin Luther was Divinely inspired. If his teachings contradict Scripture, well then Scripture wins out every time.
I rarely wear vestments when I preach. A suit and tie 'suits me' just fine. But there are times when we get formal, but it is not for showy display nor is it necessary for salvation. What is necessary for salvation is that the preacher's words are accurate, his actions in harmony with Scripture, and his stand for the truth solid, sound and beyond reproach. Yet I get a lot of grief by 'pastors' because I 'don't look the part'.  I don't belong to any 'Holy Orders', I don't follow or always use our own liturgy, I don't preach according to a lectionary schedule. I don't always fit into the mold of what a Bishop or even a simple pastor thinks they should fit.  But I first and foremost follow Jesus Christ, look to Him, preach His word, not mine, follow His rules, not mine...or Luther's for that matter. I will be as bold as Luther, but do not hold him up as infallible, and I will always speak the truth of the Gospel, no matter how unpopular. I don't need to see, nor do I even ask for, any 'paperwork' from any congregation or diocese I oversee. As long as they preach the truth, and live the Gospel, that's good enough for me. And if I don't look the part, good. If I don't act the part, even better. I prefer to follow Jesus. And he didn't have any letters after his name either. I may have earned titles and degrees, that are important to the world, but the better title is Christian. That's why I never use my titles, and letters after my name. I don't need them. I am...Christian.
To all the alphabet soup pastors out there, stop playing church, and start being church. You will find your ministry expand beyond your wildest imagination.
Until next time,
I am simply:
Pastor Sam